Making the Right Moves by J.Parkhouse Embarking on a quest to find a birth parent is an emotional rollercoaster; I know. The questions that run through your mind are not always predictable or logical; it's all part of the rich tapestry of life, isn't it? Maybe the most potent thought and the one that really does deserve an answer should be "why?" - why have you decided to search for someone you've never met? Although connected biologically you will be looking for a stranger and you may find that you have nothing in common and dislike each other intensely; it's a risk you take. If you have been blessed with good adoptive parents (and I hope you have been) it may lead to feelings of guilt on your part. It is at this point that you need to sit down and talk to someone before you proceed any further. Try to talk to your family if at all possible, don't alienate them, they are part of the eternal triangle and have probably thought that at some time you would reach this stage in your life. If you have their support you're half way there! Of course, life can be cruel and you may have had a difficult childhood. Ask yourself why. If the answer is a resounding "I don't know," then it is time to reflect; try to find out now as it may help you to come to terms with yourself. Ensure that you are not simply looking for the 'happy ever after' fairy book ending - it may not happen in reality. You'll need a clear head and a distinctively robust attitude to life; many people spend years searching with little or no luck and some find what they thought they wanted only to be left feeling empty and hurt. If you are lucky enough to find the person you are looking for, and hopefully AdoptionTracker.com will be able to help you in your search, you may not find the initial step of making contact that easy. The important point here is that he or she may not want to be found and even when they are the initial shock of being contacted by a birth child can take the edge off that first communication. It most cases it is advisable to take advice on the method of contact, because getting this step right can make all the difference. I hope that if you make it to this final hurdle you find what you are looking for; take it slowly and let nature take its course. Friendship is a wonderful thing and can blossom given the chance. If things don't go too well, but you've taken each step carefully with the support of family and friends then you may not feel too battered by the experience. But it is not all doom and gloom! Believe me, my experience has been positive. Although the friendship can become complicated given the facts, so you'll need to know where you want it to go and be very open and honest with each other; without being pushy. The real message here is take each day as it comes because you only live once. Copyright © 2002 AdoptionTracker.com